The above quote was posted by a member of a group I recently joined on Facebook, called Prophylactic Mastectomy.  It is a wonderful group that unites so many brave women all across the world, to support one another before and after surgery.  I highly recommend that anyone who is positive for the BRCA mutation, or battling breast cancer, to join this group.  It is amazing!  Thank you Jayne Miller for introducing me to this wonderful and powerful group of women!

The words written above truly summarize the journey that I have been on for the last 8 weeks.  A journey that is coming to an end, as I return back to work and normal life tomorrow.  As I reflect back on my last day of work, I remember all of the love and support I was shown by my wonderful coworkers and patients.  I also remember how anxious I was feeling about going through my first surgery, and what to expect regarding pain and recovery.  Yes the surgery was scary, yes the recovery was a real bitch those first couple of weeks, but at the end of the day, I made it through.  I did it! What an empowering feeling it is to no longer have to worry about a disease that was genetically predisposed to kill me.  

My coworkers and friends have called and texted me words of encouragement regarding my first day back to work.  They have all offered to help me get back in the swing of things, and that means so much.  My parents and sisters also came and spent the day with Cooper and me.  I couldn't think of a better way to spend my last day off work.  I also spoke to my PS earlier today, and he explained that my pectoralis muscles may be a little sore (after returning to work), because I am going to be using them in a much different way than I have over the last eight weeks...plus, they now sit over top of my tissue expanders.  I am expecting this week to be a little exhausting, but hoping that I can bounce back quickly.  

So...I am going to straighten my crown, and walk away from surgery and recovery like a BOSS!!!  Words cannot even begin to thank my amazing husband, family, friends, and the very talented doctors and nurses who took such amazing care of me during this time.  

On another note, I wanted to give a little update on my aunt, Karen.  Our prayers were answered and her PET scan revealed that her cancer is contained to her uterus.  Please continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers, as she will be undergoing a hysterectomy on January 9th.  Much love everyday, and wish me luck on my first day back to work tomorrow :)

            The Deaton Family, 12/24/13, taken at The Warehouse of Mt. Victor

Hello all!  I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday spent with the people you love the most.  It has been awhile since the last time I posted on the blog, reason being that not a whole lot has happened as far as my recovery goes...which is a good thing. 

The last time I saw Dr. Noel was on 12/18.  He expanded me with an additional 50 cc's of saline, totaling 400 cc's in each breast.  At this point, my "foobs" actually look about the size of a small "B" cup.  At our appointment, Dr. Noel gave me a good report, and recommended that we continue the expansion phase slowly.  I am very happy that this is the course we are taking, because I could not imagine rushing this process by having larger fills.  Being expanded 50 cc's of saline at a time, really does not bother me that much.  Yes, my chest is tight, and it feels like my breasts are in a tug-of-war fight every time I turn over in bed, but the pain is bearable and can be diminished by Aleve.   People ask how big I want to go, or if I want to be the same size as I was prior to my surgery.  The answer is heck no!  At the end of all of this, my goal is to be equivalent to a size "C" cup.  I am not really sure how many cc's of saline I will need to reach this goal, but I am hoping that I will only have to have a few more fills to get there.  If I had to say good bye to my God given breasts and replace them with implants to be healthier in the year 2013, at least I can reward myself with giving up bras for my New Year's Resolution :)

It's hard to believe that Christmas has come and gone, and soon we will be saying good bye to 2013.  What a year it has been.  I was so fortunate to have the opportunity to go home to Bowling Green, KY, to spend five days with my family and friends for the holiday. Typically, my husband and I rush home to BG for Christmas Eve to celebrate with my side of the family, and then have to rush to Danville, KY, to spend Christmas Day with the Pass family.  That is the downside of working in the medical field.  Medicare doesn't recognize holidays and patients have to be seen, whether it is a holiday or not.  Usually, it is a struggle among us therapists to work a weekend before or after Christmas, just to get off a day or two, or you must find someone to cover for you.  So, as wonderful as the holidays are, most of the time we are more exhausted from all the travel and don't really good quality time with both sides of our family.  This year was different.  My surgery was painful both physically and emotionally, but the upside was that it allowed me to spend more time with the people that mean the most, and that is the best gift I could have received.  

I have struggled with change my entire life.  This year, our tradition of Christmas Eve at Mamaw's house (she is the especially cute white haired lady in the pic above), was moved to my parent's place of employment, The Warehouse at Mt. Victor.  The reason being is that my aunt, Karen Lou, who is standing to the left of Mamaw, was diagnosed with cervical cancer a few weeks ago. 

For those that are blessed to know Karen, know that she is one of a kind.  She has been a caretaker for my Mamaw for many, many years, and been a mother to all of us grandchildren. Karen has been there for me my entire life.  She has been a huge support system for me both before and after my surgery.  I love her with all of my heart and soul.  

Karen's diagnosis came to a shock to all of us.  This is the first case of cancer to plague my dad's side of the family, unlike my mom's side.  The selfish person in me questions why we are having to go through this again.  Karen had a PET scan last Friday, and we are waiting for the results.  We do not know the stage of her cancer, only that the tumor is aggressive and that is a rare form of cancer where only 3-5% are diagnosed.  If the PET scan reveals that the tumor is localized, Karen will undergo a hysterectomy on 1/14/14.  Please keep her and our family in your prayers.

Hello all!  A lot has happened since the last time I posted.  First and foremost, I hope  all of you had a happy Thanksgiving spent at home with your families and friends...and not out shopping on the actual day (wink wink).  

Initially, we did not make plans to travel over the holiday weekend, since we didn't know how I would feel physically.  Luckily, last week was a turning point in my recovery.  The week began with an expansion by Dr. Noel. To my surprise, Jayne and I met in the waiting room and had no idea that our appointments were so close in time.  I was excited for she and Cooper to finally meet!  We were having so much fun, that it was a bummer when were separated in different rooms.  We joked with the staff that they should have just kept us together and we could get expanded at the same time :)

During my appointment, Dr. Noel expanded me with 50 cc's of saline, increasing my total to 300 cc's in each breast. I find it interesting that a specific amount of cc's looks different on different patients.  If I recall correctly, my tissue expander is a size 500, and can be inflated to 800, whereas Jayne's tissue expander is a 350.  Dr. Noel informed me that the tissue expander is not selected by the size of your previous breast size, but based on your body frame.   Therefore, even though Jayne and I had the same amount of saline in our breasts, mine appears relatively smaller than her's, because my tissue expander is larger.  Please correct me if I am wrong in my theory doc :)  I also received great news during the appointment.  Dr. Noel told me that I could begin driving short distances, continue "walking the wall," and begin doing more things with my arms.  He also checked my upper body range of motion and said everything looked good.  When I left the office that day, I felt just as excited as the day I passed my driving test!  Freedom baby!!!.  

As the day went on, I realized that I felt up to traveling.  Since my brother-in-law was visiting from Mendocino, CA for only a week, we decided to spend Thanksgiving in Danville with Cooper's family.  Cooper's parents were overjoyed, and so was Cooper.

By Wednesday, I started feeling a little more comfortable with feeling around on my new "foobs."  During my self breast exam, I felt a small lump under my right breast, about where the under wire of a bra would be.  I had Cooper take a look, and he predicted that it was the tissue expander unfolding.  Since it didn't feel the same on the left side, I decided to give Dr. Noel a call.  He assured me that everything was probably ok, but invited me to come by the office for him to check it out if I wanted. Of course I took him up on the offer.  As it turns out, Cooper was right, and everything was ok.  

Spending Thanksgiving with Cooper's family was great.  At first, it was a little overwhelming being away from home for the first time and being around so many people.  I am definitely a person that likes to host and entertain.  Taking a break and laying down is the last thing I want to do during a celebration.  By the end of the day I was exhausted and my chest felt tight from my last expansion.  It was a reminder that I need to take breaks and my body is still in the healing phase.  

Saturday was spent with family in Louisville.  It was wonderful!  I even enjoyed a Blue Moon...or two :)  Sunday my parents and sisters came to visit.  We went for a late lunch at Mussels and Burger Bar.  It was fabulous!  I highly recommend trying it.  We returned home and my talented, hard working, and creative second mother, Michelle, decorated our door for Christmas.  It is absolutely beautiful!  My family also stocked the freezer with meals, brought my favorite dessert (strawberry pretzel salad), helped get our tree up, and delivered a sweet note from my brother, Adam.  The night ended with ice cream from the Pie Kitchen and watching the mid season finale of the Walking Dead.  I hate the Govenor!  RIP Hershel!

Today, I saw Dr. Noel for my third expansion, post op.  I am now at 350 cc's in each breast.  I feel like I am making great progress.  Dr. Noel told me that my incisions were healing nicely.  My lifting restrictions were increased to a max of 10 lbs and I was given the "ok" to vacuum and do more with my arms.  I left feeling very pleased with my progress so far.  

Since the last post, I read the book, "Pretty Is What Changes, " by Jessica Queller.  It is a story about a young woman diagnosed with the BRCA 1 mutation and the choices she made to define her destiny.  It is a beautiful story and would be beneficial to all of those considering surgery, or for those who have had a prophylactic mastectomy.  I would like to share one of my favorite lines from the book...

         "We are living in an age in which scientific advances give us new opportunities to live.  Seize them."

I am so thankful that I made the decision to have my surgery.  There is a huge burden that has been lifted from my soul.  I feel stronger and more beautiful than I did before, because I decided to take control of my destiny.  Here are two more quotes for you that I found on Thanksgiving, that are so empowering to me...

          "I love the person I've become, because I fought to become her."
                                                                                                    -Kaci Diane

           "Because, it's not always about the fight to become better/healthier, it's about the fight that changes who you are on the inside.  It's about the journey that allows you to blossom into a person that you never knew you were strong enough to be."
                                                                 -Written by another fellow previvor, Katie 




Cheers everyone!                                                        

During my search for a breast and plastic surgeon, I made it my mission to meet as many women as possible who had been through the surgery.  After all, the Internet can sometimes be the worst place to look at pictures of women before and after surgery; while blogs can be helpful, or sometimes anxiety inducing (I say this because I feel like some people only write about the bad stuff).   

Last March I had the privilege of meeting Leann and Mindy.  A friend and colleague, Jessica, provided me with Leann's contact information when I told her that I was searching for doctors and mentors for surgery.  When I reached out to Leann, she was eager to meet.  She said that she would invite her friend, Mindy, who was currently going through the reconstruction process.  Leann is a cancer survivor and Mindy is positive for the BRCA mutation.  Both have had one or both of their breasts removed with reconstruction.  
 
On a cold, rainy day the three of us gathered at Heine Brothers.  Right off the bat, Leann and Mindy offered to show me their breasts in the bathroom.  Although I was excited to participate in a little "show and tell," I begged them to at least let me buy them coffee first :) 

When I told the ladies that I was searching for surgeons to set up consultations with, the two of them said, "Look no further.  Use Dr. Scott Jones for your breast surgeon, and Dr. Thomas Noel for your plastic surgeon."   They shared their stories and their experiences with surgery and reconstruction.  They answered all of my questions.  At the end of our meeting, we gathered in the bathroom and both ladies lifted up their shirts.  A sense of relief came over me.  Both women looked absolutely beautiful!  I left the coffee shop feeling hopeful and a little less fearful of surgery.  The next day I scheduled a consult with Dr. Jones.

I liked Dr. Jones the minute I met him.  He was professional and very knowledgeable. After all, he had been performing breast surgeries for over 30 years.  During our visit, Dr. Jones made me feel like I had options, and that surgery was not something that I had to do right at that moment.  He encouraged me to have children and breast feed, if that was something that I wanted to do.  We discussed the controversy over nipple sparring vs non nipple sparring mastectomies, and he told me that he does not perform nipple sparring mastectomies.  Dr. Jones said, "if you are going to such an extreme surgery, why would you risk leaving any tissue behind?"  That question really stuck with me.  My cousin, Kelley, and I left the appointment very pleased with Dr. Jones.

Choosing to keep your nipples versus loosing them is a personal decision.  Naturally, I wanted to keep my own.  I wanted my breasts to look as real as possible.  I wanted the possibility of still having sensation.  But, I know myself all too well.  If I chose to keep them, then I would continue to worry that I might get breast cancer, and I wanted the surgery to give me piece of mind.  After all, nipples are just ornaments anyway :)

In April, Cooper and I met Dr. Noel and were more than pleased.  We discussed different methods of reconstruction, and Dr. Noel introduced me to two patients in the office who had reconstruction; one with tissue expanders and one with the TRAM flap.  Although a tummy tuck sounded amazing, I knew that the TRAM flap surgery was pretty extensive, and that it would make my core muscles considerably weaker.  I decided that tissue expanders with implants would be better suited for me.  In addition,Dr. Noel educated me on methods to reconstruct the nipple and tattooing the areola.  

In May, I made the phone call to schedule surgery.  Some say that is the hardest part of this whole process.  

A few months prior to surgery, I got a personal phone call from Dr. Jones himself.  He called to inform me that he would be retiring at the end of the year, and he wanted to make sure that I felt comfortable moving forward with surgery.  Typically he follows patients for approximately 3 months post op, but in my case it would be more like a couple of weeks.  I congratulated him and told him that I knew I was in good hands, and that I still wanted him to perform the operation.  Dr. Noel also reassured me that all would be okay, and that he would be the surgeon that would follow me.  If I had been a patient with cancer, then things would be different.

On the day of the surgery some of the nurses told me that Dr. Jones had not operated for the last 6 weeks.  They also said that he came back for me, and that I was his last case.  I have to admit, there was something very special about the whole thing.  

Dr. Jones did an excellent job removing all of my breast tissue during surgery.  He removed approximately 2 1/2 lbs total from both breasts.  This number came as quite a surprise; I certainly thought my breasts would have weighed more because they were so big.  He also dissected 4 lymph nodes total; 3 in one breast and 1 in another.  I received my pathology report the day following surgery, with good results.  No cancer!!!  Dr. Jones saw me a couple of times while I was in the hospital and requested to see me in his office for a follow up on November 21st, his last day.

My friend Jayne was kind enough to drive me to my appointment on Thursday to see Dr. Jones.  He took a quick peek at my incisions and said that he was very pleased with the results.  Dr. Jones also told me that I had good skin.  I'm guessing that will work in my favor during the expanding phase :)

The appointment ended with Dr. Jones hugging me and telling me that he was proud of me.  Dr. Jones said that he has been using my quote, and that I handled the disease before it handled me.  As we parted, we wished one another a good life.

Yesterday was my third visit with Dr. Noel, post surgery.  I headed into his office hopeful that I might leave there feeling a little bit "lighter."  What I mean is, I was saying my prayers that I would have at least one drain pulled.  The drain coming from my right armpit was causing me quite a bit of discomfort.  At times, I would get these shooting, stabbing, burning pains in my armpit, that would only be diminished by taking a pain pill.  My nurse predicted that the pain was more than likely nerve pain.

As Dr. Noel entered the examining room, he took a look at the drains, reviewed my output charts, and said, "how about we take these out today?"  I was so excited that I nearly jumped off the table.  I exclaimed, "thank you Jesus!!!"  Dr. Noel and his nurse smiled, and within minutes, all the drains were pulled from my chest.  Cooper sat to the side, shocked by the amount of tubing coming from my chest.  It was like he had sympathy pain for me, even though I didn't feel any pain while the drains were being removed :)

Next, Dr. Noel used a magnet to locate the metal port in my tissue expander.  With a thin needle, he slowly inserted 50 cc's of saline into each of my breasts.  My little "foob"s began to inflate like small balloons...how exciting!!!  Since I am numb across my chest, the needle stick did not hurt at all.  Dr. Noel then instructed me to take it easy for the next 3 days, avoid lifting over 5lbs, and to not use my arms very much.  He also educated me on "walking the wall, " a technique used to increase your upper extremity range of motion, in order to prevent frozen shoulder.  Dr. Noel was very pleased with the active movement I already had, post surgery.

I left the doctor's office feeling excited, hopeful, and free from those damn Jackson Pratt drains!  It truly was a great day!

This week I was blessed to make a new friend, Jayne.  Jayne and I were brought together through social media, thanks to our plastic surgeon.  We are both fortunate to share an excellent doctor, who carries a special place in his heart for people like us.  He felt it was important for us to meet, because Jayne and I are alike in so many ways.

Like me, Jayne is also positive for the BRCA 2 mutation.  She too lost her mother after an 8 year battle with cancer.  Jayne and I are two years apart in age, and both share an interest in educating our community on the importance of genetic testing and preventative measures.  Jayne had a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy two weeks before me.  She has also gone public with her diagnosis, and has documented her journey through her excellent blog.  Jayne was even interviewed by our local news station to discuss genetic testing and her decision to move forward with surgery.  Check out Jayne's blog @ anchoredwithhope.wordpress.com.  You can also view her live interview @ http://m.wave3.com/?_escaped_fragment_=%2FnewsDetail%2F23961026.  

When Jayne and I met for the first time at Heine Brothers, it was like we had known each other for years.  We sat there and talked for nearly two hours about our lives, coping with our genetic testing results, and our experiences with surgery and recovery.  What a comfort it is to meet someone that knows exactly what you are going through.  Thank you Dr. Noel!

At the end of our meeting, Jayne invited me to join her for another coffee date the following day, with a woman who is considering PBM.  I felt both honored and excited to participate in the meeting.  If I can help at least one person, then I feel like I have truly succeeded.

Clothing:

Over-sized button up shirts or hoodies.  I typically wear a size "M" in regular clothes, and had to purchase a size "L" or "XL" in shirts or hoodies, simply to accommodate all of the drains.  I have joked that the drains make me appear to be in my third trimester of pregnancy, even though I have never been pregnant or know what I will look like when I am that pregnant :)

Pants with elastic waistbands.  I like yoga pants or leggings.

Slip on shoes or slippers.

Button up night gowns to sleep in.

Over sized robe

Over the counter medication/products:

MiraLax or some type of stool softener.  All of the pain medications typically cause constipation.

Hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin

Probiotics (they will help replace all the good bacteria in your gut, since you will be on antibiotics).

Gauze, athletic tape, gloves, and large safety pins, to assist with drain management.

Cough drops and lip balm.  The tube that goes down your throat when you are administered anesthesia can cause dry lips and a sore throat.

A cervical pillow or wedge pillow.  They will help you be more comfortable when sleeping on your back.  

Flushable moistened wipes to help make managing toileting and hygiene easier.

Wet wipes for the days you don't feel like taking a shower.

Dry shampoo and a "Wet/Dry" brush to make combing hair easier for your caregiver.

A shower chair, hand-held shower head, non-skid bath mats (inside/outside the shower), long-handled bath sponge for making bathing both easier and safer.  CVS, Walgreens, or Bed Bath and Beyond carries these products.

Low sugar Gatorade, bottled water, or Coconut Water to stay hydrated :)

Lastly, a positive attitude!  Just remember you are both strong and amazing for choosing to handle breast cancer before it handles you!  The first 10 days post surgery are the days that you will need the most assistance from a spouse, friend, or caregiver.  

Cooper and I woke up around 6:30 am to get ready for my 9 o'clock appointment to see my plastic surgeon.  We took a shower, changed my bandages, and Coop even blow dried my hair.  He's the best!  

When we arrived at my appointment around 8:50, the nurse greeted us immediately and escorted us back to the examining room.  Since I am limited to wearing over-sized button up shirts or hoodies, because of my eight JP drains, I did not have to change into the horrible pink paper top that opens in the front.  Come on ladies, I know you all know these tops all too well from your OBGYN appointments...they are horrible!

 My PS carefully removed the ace bandage, gauze and tape that covered my newly formed breast mounds.  I have to admit, I was a little nervous seeing myself for the very first time.  Prior to surgery, I envisioned the moment of seeing my newly reconstructed breasts and thinking, "what the hell have I done?" But, as the gauze and other items were removed, a sense of relief came over me.  This visit reassured that I had made the right decision to move forward with surgery.  

My PS and his nurse then cleaned up my incisions (they are horizontal and the width of my breast, where my nipples once were) and placed new clear bandages over thestiches. He did something abslutely amazing,he pulled 2 of my JP drains!!!  Yeah!!!  At first, this took me completely by surprise, because he gave me no warning.  He quickly snipped the small stitches by my armpits with scissors, and within seconds pulled about a foot long drain from both my right and left sides.  It didn't hurt at all.  A huge relief came over me, because these were two of the drains that were most painful, because where they were located.  It was very easy to pull on them when donning and doffing clothing, which gives an intense burning sensation.  My PS decided not to do any expanding today, because it was still too early, and I needed more time to heal.  He requested to see me in his office on Friday for follow up.  I left feeling optimistic and a little bit lighter with my 6 remaining JP drains.

Now, if you have never had surgery, you may be asking, "what the heck are JP drains?"   A Jackson-Pratt drain isa medical device that is commonly used as a post-operative drain for collecting bodily fluids from surgical sites.  The device consists of an internal drain connected to a grenade-shaped bulb via a plastic tubing.  The flexible bulb has a plug that can be opened to pour off collected fluid.  Each time the fluid is removed, the patient, caregiver, or healthcare provider squeezes the air out of the bulb and replaces the plug.  The resulting vacuum creates suction in the drainage tubing, which draws fluid from the surgical site.

The JP drains have probably been the most annoying, and uncomfortable part of surgery so far.  Cooper has to empty the drains three times per day, and record how much fluid is being collected in the bulbs.  Fingers crossed I will have additional drains removed at my appointment of Friday!

Medical supplies and medications needed for daily use.

Me and my JP drains. Originally had 8 drains that drained in to 4 bulbs. Now I only have 6 that drain in to 2 bulbs.

This is the chart that is used to record the amount of fluid drained from each Jackson Pratt Drain. Each pump has its own chart. 

 After blogging about the "Original Charleston Ta Ta," I wanted to dedicate a post to my amazing friends and something they did for me that was so very special.

When I made the decision to move forward with surgery, I thought it would only be necessary to celebrate my breasts in a fun-filled, light-hearted way with my awesome friends!  

The party was held on my friend, Louise's, beautiful farm in Bowling Green, KY.  About 50-60 friends gathered together for an evening of burning bras, taking inappropriate selfies with a boobie cake, eating good food, drinking, and dancing.  The Kitchenettes even played a few songs around the campfire :)

It was a night I will never forget.  I am forever grateful for all of the love, support, and words of encouragement my friends and family have provided me over the last year.  Because of them, my decision to have a PBM was that much easier.  I knew this was something that I didn't have to go through alone.  I am the luckiest girl in the world to have such an incredible support system!!!

Invitation for the Ta Ta to the Ta Tas party.

Lindsey Cardwell Davis made the cake for my Ta Ta to the Ta Tas party. 

Group photo of all the girls. Handprints were welcomed by spouses, boyfriends or girlfriends.

Sunday began with our morning ritual.  Get up, empty drains, eat breakfast, and take morning meds.  My wonderful mother-in-law, Janie, gave us a dinner tray from Bed Bath and Beyond, that has really come in handy!  It is the perfect height so I can reach my food and drink, without breaking my range of motion restrictions.  Cooper plans to get one for him, so we can venture away from the coffee table where most of our meals take place :)

After breakfast, two of my besties, Haley and Micheal stopped by for a visit.  Having visitors really breaks up the monotony of being home bound.  I have been so fortunate to have so many friends drop in on a daily basis.  Later, Cooper headed for the gym and we reached a major milestone...me staying home by myself for a bit, with no supervision!  Woohoo!!!  Not that I haven't joined friends sitting with me, while Cooper runs errands, but sometime it's nice to have a little alone time, ya know?

Later, my friend Amy dropped in after a long weekend spent in Charleston.  She brought me the most beautiful gift, the "Original Charleston Ta Ta" wine glass.  I would like to share with all of you the legend of the Ta Ta wine glass, because it is so special and symbolizes fun and friendship.

The Legend of the TaTa

"Ta Ta" wine glasses, made especially for the tastes of fun-loving women, became known for their energetic colors and unique styles.

Jody, a local Charleston area artist, started hand painting these fun glasses to resemble her friends' appearances and individual personalities and to lift their spirits when they needed to smile.

Now signed on the bottom for authenticity, the "Ta Tas" have become a symbol of friendship, and a necessity for any fun-filled "girls night out."

Use your "TaTa" with your oldest and dearest friends or begin a new friendship with this fun gift...and say "ta ta" to your worries!  

P.S.:  It goes without saying, but men love "ta tas," too!


Thank you Amy for this beautiful gift!!!  I can't wait to use it when the doc gives me the "okay" to enjoy a glass of vino with you (after you push that baby out of course)!

The day concluded with a visit from two other best friends, Austin and Amira.  Amira was so sweet to help water all of my neglected plants and flowers, and to take a short walk with me around the block.  Sunday, was truly a fun day today :)